SXSW Interactive is the biggest geek fest on either side of the Mississippi. All the big industry powerhouses are represented. All the latest technologies are shared. And, most everyone looks and acts like Amir. What it ain’t, is a place to share ideas or learn from others in the field. Why? Because the Me Monster is lurking in every presentation, panel, discussion, street corner, party, restaurant, hotel, bathroom, coffee shop, nook and cranny.
I am shocked appalled. I didn’t come to Austin to hear people point-counterpoint about themselves. If you’re here, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re here and you don’t know, you’re an idiot. And, for all those not here, let me help you understand my criticism. On Saturday (@11AM/19B) I went to a preso on blogs where the speakers weren’t miked, prepared, or informative, and the me monsters were on the prowl.
EL PRESENTADOR: Hello everyone. [5 min of me talk]. And this is my co-presenter.
Co-PRESENTER: Hiya SXSWers. [5 min of me talk].
A hand goes up in the audience and el presentador gives them the go ahead.
DOUCHEBAG: Yeah, hi, I’m a blogger and I was wondering about [5 min of me talk].
EL PRESENTADOR: What was your question?
DOUCHEBAG: Oh, that’s what I forgot. [5 more min of me talk]. Long story longer, should I spell blog with a capital B or a lowercase b?
EL PRESENTADOR: That’s an excellent question and one that I will not answer after I talk about me. [5 min of me talk].
DOUCHEBAG: I disagree. At my blog, imadouchebag.com, I do something totally different. Yeah, at imadouchebag.com I’ve learned that peeps come to imadouchebag.com because of me. No, I’m not going to talk about what you just said because I want to continue to self-promote because imadouchebag.com.
Co-PRESENTER: Great point Douchebag. [5 min of me talk]
EL PRESENTADOR: Wow, that’s great Co-presenter. [5 min of me talk]
DOUCHEBAG: furious. No, no, no, no, no. You’re all wrong. I’m right. I’m a professional blogger and I’m going to waste the time of the 75 people in this room because it’s all about me. At imadouchebag.com it’s all about me and me and me. One last thing, imadouchebag.com
That’s about the time I got up and left. In fact, I got up and left two other presentations on Saturday because Douchebag McMemonster kept showing up. Enough already. #SXSWi peeps, there’re two days left and I’d like to get more out of this conference than your bio. So, follow the advice of Henry Rollins and let me enjoy the rest of the festival.
Update: Great news! SXSWi did not let me enjoy the rest of the festival. Nope, they just kept rolling with the me monster punches. But don’t take my word for it. I’m just a lowly blogger. Check out Nick Douglas’ article “SXSW Interactive is Dead” or Jolie O’Dell’s “Why SXSW Sucks.”
What’d you learn at SXSW? Share your experiences below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.
