Rarely dz a dy go by whr I read an Emsg, txt, instnt msg, or social status ^d8 dat isn’t riddled W errs. I’m nt tlkN factual errs whr ppl adlib percentages n factoids as dey “QSL ll” W hopes dat sum1 n d chain S impre$D by their sup. nolage. No, doze ppl r jst douchebags w8N 2 gt punchd n d junk. n, I’m nt tlkN bout gramA mainly coz I suk @ it—esp commas n semicolons. No, I’m tlkN bout sp.
Translation: Rarely does a day go by where I read an e-mail, text, instant message, or social status update that isn’t riddled with errors. I’m not talking factual errors where people make up percentages and factoids as they “reply all” with hopes that someone in the chain is impressed by their superior knowledge. No, those people are just douchebags waiting to get punched in the junk. And, I’m not talking about grammar mainly because I suck at it—especially commas and semicolons. No, I’m talking about spelling.
ppl of erth, w’r Bcuming constituents of a global idiocracy.
Translation: People of Earth, we are becoming constituents of a global idiocracy.
btw txtN, tweeting, n IM w’r butchering d lang we uz 2 comnC8.
Translation: Between texting, tweeting, and instant messaging we are butchering the language we use to communicate.
sry boss, der wz no spel ck.
OK, dis wz (prolly) a mstke, bt c’mon! RU telin me dat n01 OTR crew spoke ^ wen d H wz placed nxt 2 d S? seriSly, WTF isa shcool?
Translation: OK, this was (probably) a mistake, but come on! Are you telling me that no one on the road crew spoke up when the H was placed next to the S? Seriously, what the f*** is a shcool?
Lou: Hey Joe, gimme some a dem stencils.
Joe: What ones?
Lou: Hell, I dunno. Wuddya got?
Joe: We gots an L, a C, an S, a pair a Os, and an H.
Lou: OK. Hand me da S, and then da C, no wait da H, and then da C, then da Os, and then da L. Shcool. Yeah, dat looks ’bout right.
Joe, Lou, n toh 12 dudes st&ing arnd d job site, woch dis n try agn:
Translation: Joe, Lou, and the other half dozen dudes standing around the job site, watch this and try again:
dis eff ^ S jst 1 xampl of mNE. Iv read resumes rife W errs, rcvd Emsgs frm corporate folk UzN SMS lingo, n bn handed handwritten notes dat w%d av brokN MS Word’s spel checker f d idiots actuly uzd a comp. fyi, f u do dis kinda sht u won’t B considrd 4t job, u won’t B makin six figures mch longA, +U shd prolly invest ina pocket dxNre. nuf alrdy. f u wn2 comnC8 W oder hUmNz ur gunA hav2 lern dat sp counts!
Translation: This f*** up is just one example of many. I’ve read resumes rife with errors, received e-mails from corporate folk using SMS lingo, and been handed handwritten notes that would have broken MS Word’s spell checker if the morons actually used a computer. FYI, if you do this kind of s*** you won’t be considered for the job, you won’t be making six figures much longer, and you should probably invest in a pocket dictionary. Enough already. If you want to communicate with other humans you’re going to have to learn that speling cownts!
God help humanity when archaeologists try to decipher our historical documents 1,000 years from now. Come to think of it, wouldn’t it be awesome to learn that our predecessors couldn’t spell? That would literally rewrite history! Anywho, tell me what you think by posting a comment below or sending me an e-mail at TiTy@y2kemo.com.
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