I’ve been a fifth grade teacher and a construction superintendant. I’ve worked in network news and in higher education. I’ve flipped burgers and butchered meat. And at every one of those jobs I’ve been tasked with difficult activities of uncertain outcomes involving numerous and often competing factions that is of dubious value. What?
I’m a cat herder.
Seriously, how did project management devolve into cat herding? What do you mean? Everyone is an expert. Aren’t they? No, but they like to think they are. To make matters worse these independently-minded arrogant douchebags can’t agree on anything. They throw buzzwords around as though they actually understand the vomit they’re spewing. Gross. What comes out is a bag of gibberish that clouds a project’s vision and prevents it from coming to fruition. “I like this.” “No, I like this.” “No, we should do it this way.” “Wait, here’s a great idea.” Frak! If it were up to them we’d all be dropping double rainbows and lolcats into everything we did. That doesn’t sound so bad. I hate you.
OK, but what does this have to do with cat herding? Have you ever tried to corral a group of cats? No. That’s just silly. It’s not only silly, it’s nearly impossible. Cats rarely respond to commands. They’re ornery. Their scratching makes you feverish. And, they’re…cats. OK, so you’re saying the people you are managing…herding…herding are difficult to wrangle? Yes. I’m sorry. I don’t see the connection. Perhaps a visual is in order:
Oh my, that does look difficult. It is. Well, what do you suggest? Take the crazy cat lady approach and throw these pompous aces out the window. If that’s too harsh, I recommend putting on a happy face and helping these pieholes understand they’re wrong by letting them believe they are 100% right. So, you’re saying we should treat people like cats? No. I’m saying you’re a moron.
Bottom line: let the experts do their job, and leave the cats in the laundry room to poop in a box.
Regardless of your profession you will undoubtedly run into cats. If you do, run away…fast. Your turn. Leave your comments below or send me an e-mail at TiTy@y2kemo.com.
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