I’ve been playing Ngmoco’s We Rule since my brother recommended it to me back in April. And why not? Mi hermano y yo generally have the same tastes in all things nerdy, and the game was a created with the help of New Toy (the creators of Words with Friends and Chess With Friends; two games I play regularly).
As it went, I downloaded We Rule (free), created a plus+ account, and begin building my kingdom. Like all newbs I started out with an empty kingdom, 250 coins, zero XP, no mojo, and a castle. Thankfully there’s a helpful wizard who stepped me through the basics. For my first task Mr. Wizard had me spend all my coins and build a farm. Then he told me to plant corn. 45 seconds later it was time to harvest. Build this, do that, all of his advice was quite helpful. When all my objectives were completed he and I had a beer and parted ways.
Like a true iDouche I kept playing. Building houses and roads, planting trees and crops, carving out rivers and lakes, and spending my kingdom’s earnings on more and more kingdom stuff. To up my douchiness, I used notifications to get up-to-the-second intel on when my buildings were built and my crops were ready for harvest. All I had to do was sit back, wait for the notifications, and when they popped up I’d open the app, tap on my screen, and increase the contents of my coin purse.
Why the %$#@ do I continue to play this pointless game?
Back up! What exactly is We Rule?
We Rule is a Kingdom building, social interactive game where you farm and harvest crops, build stuff, and visit other realms. In a sense, you own your own kingdom. Gameplay is pretty straightforward. Have a look:
What’s the hub bub?
We Rule is a really well-designed game. There’s good artwork. Stuff moves. There’s audio. It’s got a social component. It takes advantage of Apple’s iOS. And, it’s free. Oh yeah, and the game is wildly successful? How so?
For starters, it’s one of five nominees for the Game Developer’s Conference (GDC) “Best Online Game Design” Award. Why? Because a lot of people think that We Rule has the “best social-specific gameplay mechanics, quest design, and other major game design elements.” Are you kidding me? Nope. It’s even favored to win.
And why shouldn’t it. We Rule has an enormous fanbase. Don’t believe me? Google “We Rule Tips and Tricks” and see what you get. From bloggers who’ve written reviews and walkthroughs to developers who’ve set up entire sites or applications dedicated to beating the game. For serious? Yep. Have a look at CropCalc. These Dutchmen created a desktop/iDevice browser app that tells you which crop will yield the most profit based on your current level and available time. Are you for real? Absofrakkinglutely. See for yourself.
See what I mean? Yep, We Rule is insanely popular. I agree
Why do people play the game?
I haven’t a clue. I don’t know why I play the game. Heck, I don’t even know the point of the game. To build a kingdom? To plant crops? Make money? Kill time? Avoid chores? Alienate friends? Ruin marriages? Who the eff knows? All I know is that I keep playing it. And do you know who doesn’t play it anymore? No. My brother. Yep, he told me he’s bored with the game.
Is there a particular approach to the game?
There probably is. I’ve seen some people (like those pictured below) who build a mess of garbage with the intent of raking in experience points, coins, and mojo. While that’s probably a good way to “win” the game their kingdoms look ridiculous. Me? I have to have order (I’m an INTJ on the Myers-Briggs type indicator) so my kingdom is logically organized as any kingdom would be if you were to visit one back in the day (sans dragons, serpents, giant frogs, and unicorns).
Any last thoughts?
People who play We Rule and buy mojo are impatient douchebags. Hey! I buy mojo. Well, I’m glad you do, but you’re still a dbag. But, it’s people like you that keep the game free for the rest of us. So thanks for wasting your money. Me, I’ll wait to harvest my magic cauliflower and let my builders build on their time. Besides, I’ve got a nasty crack habit to pay for.
Seriously, I’ve got to find out why this game is so addictive successful. Post your comments below or send me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org. Then come find me in my kingdom (y2kemo).