As a kid there was no day more important than Christmas. For a whole year I’d wait for the jolly fat man to leave presents under my tree. On occasion, though, Santa would drop my presents off early and hide them in a closet, in the garage, the attic, or in the trunk of the family station wagon. For a 10-year-old boy the wait was unbearable. But, getting caught for sneaking a peak was infinitely worse.
When it comes to meetings this same sort of fear-of-the-unknown anxiety drives some people to the brink of insanity.
Let it be known throughout the land that I am not keen on meetings. Shocker, I know. They’re too long. Too frequent. Tend to attract the uninvited. And, they are almost always preceded by a pre-meeting. A what? A pre-meeting.
Typically, when you set up a meeting you line up guests, set a date and time, book a room, and send out an invitation. Normal folk will show up when and where the meeting is scheduled. However, a select group of dbags will, without warning, arrive at your desk 5-10 minutes prior to your meeting to go over their agenda.
Commonly referred to as “preMeeters” they are the Grinches of meetings. They want control. They want to make sure that whatever you were planning to say or do is aligned with what they want you to say or do. They want their way, at any cost. To make things worse, if you blow off the preMeeter’s agenda and stick with yours, the preMeeter will immediately place you on their blacklist (and tell anyone who’ll listen that you’re uncooperative and incompetent). Alternatively, if you let Geppetto pull your strings you’ll be viewed as spineless by non-preMeeters. So what can you do?
For starters, you should identify the preMeeters.
- Schedule a meeting;
- Send out a clearly defined agenda;
- Wait. If a preMeeter is present they will show up at your door just before your meeting is scheduled.
Once you identify the preMeeter you have two choices when they show up: accept their agenda, or reject it. Though you can choose the former, I promote the latter. Here’s what I recommend:
- Don’t panic;
- Listen attentively;
- Provide no signs of agreement;
- When they finish blathering, smile, and tell ‘em you’ll see ‘em in a few;
- Hold your meeting as planned.
Once rejected, the preMeeter will become angry. Be warned, with each rejection the preMeeter grows stronger and more determined to break you. Don’t let them. Stand tall. You have a responsibility to yourself and other non-preMeeters to teach pre-meeters of the world to wait like everyone else. Seriously, Christmas will come.
Do you work with a pre-meeter? Share your experiences below or send me an e-mail at TiTy@y2kemo.com.
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