Another ten hour flight, another bunch of movies. On my way out the video player was busted. Thanks Delta. Four movies up.
If you’ve read my movie reviews before then you know they aren’t reviews, but rather walkthroughs with a brief opinion of the show. Read ‘em. Don’t read ‘em. I could care less.
Here’s what’s in the queue: The Town, The American, The Social Network, and The Other Guys
The Town. Starring Ben Affleck, the dude from the Hurt Locker, the guy from Mad Men, and some other folks. Starts off in Charlestown, MA. A place that’s produced more bank robbers than any other in the states. Bank job goes down. An unexpected hostage is released and then courted by Ben. Mad Men is FBI and he is all over the jobbers.
Ben and Bomb Boy are brothers of another mother because Ben’s pops is in prison for murder. Bomb Boy wants Ben to do a job. Ben doesn’t want to. Bad for him Bomb Boy called the Florist (the dude who [spoiler] drugged Ben’s mom into suicide) who wasn’t going to let Ben say ‘no’ to him. Ben eventually agrees to the Florist’s demands.
The gang meets up at a ball stadium to steal $3 million. Dressed as cops and EMTs they sneak in steal the loot and get to going before the…Uh oh, Ben’s Spidey sense is tingling. Turns out his old flame told Mad Man what they were up to. Shoot out ensues. Two of the four are dead. Bomb Boy and Ben slip away in cop unis, but Mad Man is on to Bomb Boy. They run. Bunch of shooting goes down. Bomb Boy is dead. Ben gets away.
He seeks vengeance on the Florist and the Florist’s junk, then hops a bus to get out of town. That’s it. Ben was decent. Mad Man was good. Movie was OK.
I rate it: [★★★☆]
The American. George Clooney plays a spy killer gun maker dude. Why is there bg audio in my headset? George and lady go for a walk only to be stalked by a dude with a rifle. George kills sniper and lady (and another dude) and takes the next ferry out of the icy forest.
Off to Rome. Meets up with a dude who gives him a safe place to lay low. George goes then thinks twice and goes somewhere else. At his new place he does the usual cliche: workout, eat, drink.
He meets a priest. Makes a call. Gets asked to do a job. Then drinks brandy with the priest. And, of course, off for some middle-of-the-night push-ups. My butt is numb. Is someone gonna get my dinner tray? George meets another lady who places an order for a gun. He messes with building the gun, hires a hooker, then meets Father Brandy the next evening for goulash.
Kicks the fender off his car and meets Fabio the Car Doctor. Looks through Fabio’s garage to find tools to finish the gun. Tries it out. Goes for coffee. Gets a letter. Someone is on to him. Who? W/e. The chick is back for the gun. She tries it. This movie is getting lame. They have a picnic. Snooze.
Back to the hooker. Wait, they’re going to go on a date! The letter dude is back. He’s got a gun. George has a gun. Turns out the other guy is…oh what do I care? This movie sucks.
I rate it: [★☆☆☆]
The Social Network. It’s a movie about Facebook. Did you hear me? It’s a movie…about Facebook! Um, what? Yeah so Justin Timberlake and the dude from some nerd movie are in it. Justin plays Sean Fanning (of Napster fame) and the nerd plays Zuckerberg (of Facebook fame).
And in case you didn’t hear me, it’s a movie about Facebook. Figure it out.
I rate it: [★★☆☆]
The Other Guys. Mark Wahlberg, Will Ferrell, and Eva Mendes star in this hokey cop comedy. Off the bat the flick is deep in action as Sam Jackson and The Rock chase bad guys. My son just pooped his pants and it’s on my shorts. Those two be rock stars. Will and Mark be the other guys. Hey, Michael Keaton is in this.
So far, pretty funny. Lion/Tuna joke is good. “Like a Viagra pill with a face.” “You shot Derek Jeter…He’s a biracial angel!” “Desk pop!” Some more office antics then a wrecking ball carjacking. Sam and Rock are in pursuit. Then they be dead. Will and Mark vie for the Rock Star position, and then run over the crime scene.
Anne Heche and some British dude. The other guys punk the Brit and get punk’d themselves. Back to a fresh start. Mark meets his partner’s wife. It’s Eva. Mark can’t believe Will’s got a hot wife.
Carjackers butt dial and leave a voicemail on Will’s ex-gf’s phone. Complicated, but they get it. Movie is getting less funny. OK, ballet scene was funny. Right cheek is way numb. Mini-mall with Will and Mark. Kaboom!
Little bad cop bad cop gets Will and Mark kidnapped and taken to Vegas. Back at the station Keaton reprimands them. Pimps don’t cry. Eva kicks Will out for wanting to get back hid pimp side. Will and Mark saying Ima be drinking beer. Gator needs his gat. This movie is tanking. Nap time.
I rate it: [★★☆☆]
Have you seen any of these flicks? If so, leave a comment below or send me an e-mail at TiTy@y2kemo.com.
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