It’s time to move on, but looking for a job is a pain. Between classifieds, message boards, social networks, and the Internet, the search is never-ending. If I’m lucky enough to find a job that looks interesting I’m hit in the junk with fine print. If I can pass these two levels of mind-numbing gameplay I still have to figure out what information the prospective employer wants. A resume? Cover letter? Portfolio? References? A swift kick in the face?
Supposing I successfully defeat the paperwork thugs on Level 3, I move to the final stage and a one-on-one with the Big Boss. To defeat the Boss I must use a buzzword Mortal Kombat combo coupled with a several outbursts of fake laughter and interviewese. But a victory may not be a victory because there’s a good chance I’ll be as disappointed by the interview endgame as I was with the end of Legend of Zelda.
Enough is enough. It’s time for employers to start applying for potential employees. So, if you’re an employer who wants to hire me you’ll need to fill out an application like everyone else.
Before you start typing away I suggest you have a look at my LinkedIn profile, read a few posts, and check out my About page. If you do, you will have everything you need to make a decision. When you’re ready, fill out the form below, click Submit, and someone may or may not be back in touch.
*Employers who fail to complete this form in its entirety and as directed, provide false or misleading information, or who are just ridiculous will not be considered. Any employer who feels I am not qualified for any reason is kindly asked to direct their attention here.
Employers I am now accepting applications. You can apply by filling out the above application. If you have any questions please leave them below or send them to me at email@example.com.