On occasion, I get a phone call. Not on Skype or FaceTime, an actual can-to-can phone call. Of course, I rarely answer my phone since 97% of the time I don’t recognize the number and would rather answer the door to a guy yielding an axe than answer a call from Señor Anonymous. Instead, the majority of phone calls I actually get are dumped directly into voicemail.
Right, so there I am sitting at my desk when the phone rings. I glance up at the number, ignored the unknown caller, and went about my business. Shortly after, Missed Call appeared on the screen. Then, a short minute later, Message Waiting with a blinking red light. Since I hate blinking red lights in my periphery I had no choice but to listen to the voicemail.
INBOX CHICK: Please enter your…
ME: Shut up! [Punch numbers]
INBOX CHICK: For new..
ME: SHUT UP! [Punch number]
ME: Yeah, no. [Punch number]
INBOX CHICK: Message deleted
Seriously people, if you are so excited that you need to talk like Fran Capo then you need to slow the frak down and call me back when you’ve had some valium. I don’t understand what you’re saying. I’m not going to try to understand what you’re saying. So that super important voicemail you felt the need to cram into the allotted :60 was for naught.
FTLOG! Slow your voicemails down!
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