How-To: Make the Perfect Greeting Card

Perfect Greeting CardTrying to find the perfect greeting card is a pain in the hemorrhoidal area of your ace. You’ve got to stand in the greeting card aisle looking at card after card with all the other losers trying to get your names in the relationship history books.

Look moron, it ain’t gonna happen. Not that way. If you want the perfect greeting card, one that will blow the mind of the one you love, hate, is sick, or who did something nice for you, then keep reading.

When you’re done you will share this post. Why? Because this post will make you look like a genius.

Step 1: Stand in the greeting card aisle looking like a moron until you find a card that says what you want it to say.

Guy looking at greeting card

Step 2: Take a picture of the inside of the card.

Inside of the greeting card

Step 3: Keep standing in the greeting card aisle looking like a moron, but turn your attention to the “Blank Inside” cards. When you find one that has a cool, pretty, or otherwise appropriate design go pay for it (or steal it).

guy in greeting card aisle

Step 4: Break out your best pen, open the blank greeting card, and begin to copy (i.e. plagiarize) the words from the greeting card in your photo onto your blank card.

writing in a blank greeting card

Step 5: Place the card in the envelope, add a name or whatever kisses, stickers, or cheesy stuff you want to add, and deliver it to your recipient.

card sliding into an envelope

Now all that’s left to do is bask in the glory of your poetic awesomeness. You’re welcome. Now do your part and share this post.