It’s time to move on, but looking for a job is a pain. Between classifieds, message boards, social networks, and the Internet, the search is never-ending. If I’m lucky enough to find a job that looks interesting I’m hit in the junk with fine print. If I can pass these two levels of mind-numbing gameplay I still have to figure out what information the prospective employer wants. A resume? Cover letter? Portfolio? References? A swift kick in the face?

Supposing I successfully defeat the paperwork thugs on Level 3, I move to the final stage and a one-on-one with the Big Boss. To defeat the Boss I must use a buzzword Mortal Kombat combo coupled with a several outbursts of fake laughter and interviewese. But a victory may not be a victory because there’s a good chance I’ll be as disappointed by the interview endgame as I was with the end of Legend of Zelda.

Enough is enough. It’s time for employers to start applying for potential employees. So, if you’re an employer who wants to hire me you’ll need to fill out an application like everyone else.

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